Many people enter therapy unaware that they have trauma—or they may not feel the right to “claim” their experiences as traumatic. Complex trauma can be more insidious than overt abuse. Oftentimes, complex trauma is about what we didn’t get early in life that we needed and deserved (validation, freedom from humliation, trust, safety, encouragement, room for self-expression, etc).

Attachment is a fancy buzzword these days and you don’t need to accurately know or name your “style.” True attachment theory simply draws a correlation between how consistently your needs were met during infancy and early childhood to how you relate to others as an adult. Many people with attachment wounds fear being abandoned and struggle to find the balance between letting people in too easily and not letting them in at all.

Dissociation is a spectrum. We all experience healthy levels almost daily, such as day dreaming or “zoning out.” People with histories of complex trauma tend to dissociate more than others and may develop dissociative disorders, such as DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) or DID (dissociative identity disorder). Clients with dissociative disorders are often relieved to learn about and understand their patterns.

As a queer therapist, I understand the difference between having to filter yourself in therapy and being able to fully be yourself. I consider it an honor to work with this population and I hope you’ll feel that whether you are out and proud or just starting to explore your identity.