Many people enter therapy unaware that they have trauma—or they may not feel the right to “claim” their experiences as traumatic. Complex trauma can be more insidious than overt abuse. Oftentimes, complex trauma is about what we didn’t get early in life that we needed and deserved (validation, being seen, trust, safety, encouragement, room for self-expression, etc).

Attachment is a fancy buzzword these days and you don’t need to accurately know or name your “style.” True attachment theory simply draws a correlation between how consistently your needs were met during infancy and early childhood to how you relate to others as an adult. Many people with attachment wounds fear being abandoned and struggle to find the balance between letting people in too easily and not letting them in at all.

Dissociation is a spectrum. We all experience healthy levels almost daily, such as day dreaming or “zoning out.” People with histories of complex trauma tend to dissociate more than others and may develop dissociative disorders, such as DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) or DID (dissociative identity disorder). Clients with dissociative disorders are often relieved to learn about and understand their patterns.

As a queer therapist, I understand the difference between having to filter yourself in therapy and being able to fully be yourself. I consider it an honor to work with this population and I hope you’ll feel that whether you are out and proud or just starting to explore your identity.

This term is frequently misunderstood, and often confused with enmeshment—which has overlap but is something different. The definition I like for codependency is that your happiness depends on another person’s wellbeing. For example, “I can finally be happy when they get sober/better/go to therapy.” Underneath the caretaking is often someone who learned that their safety, value, or lovability depended on meeting others’ needs first.

The journey to parenthood and the transition once you get there can be one of the hardest things you will ever go through. You deserve support as you navigate uncertainty, isolation, stress, grief, and difficulty letting go of control. For queer parents, there are additional layers to the grief and struggles of parenthood. Therapy can help you to feel less alone.

Addiction is simply a term for ritualized compulsive comfort-seeking. Many of us reach for substances to regulate. I’m here to take the shame out of talking about it and meet you where you’re at, whatever your goals with your substance use are.